Early Rising

Blah, I woke up at 6.30am from an awful dream that I don't really want to discuss. In fact the sooner my mind deletes it, the better.
So here I am. It's now 7.35am - I've passed the time by browsing general pro-ed sites & checking up on the forums. Not much is happening, although I did get supportive comments from the girls when I showed them my before & after pictures - so thanks!
I also posted a thread on Kate Moss and her new term 'Rexy' (I'll post the same one here).
Too scared to weigh myself. Craig made me eat a sandwich last night.. boo.
I'm gonna go watch TV/do sit-ups until a more healthier hour!

cw: Dunno!!!

Kate Moss and her London clique have coined a new phrase to compliment their thin figures. According to reports, the supermodel and her best mate Sadie Frost are calling each other ‘rexy’ when discussing their figures. "Rexy is a word Kate and her friends have made up. It is a hybrid of the words anorexic and sexy." The source told the Mail:"It is used by Kate, Sadie Frost and other members of the A-list crowd to make a statement to each other that they are looking good." "It is not an insult it is a compliment."

Disgusting

Disgusting is what I am. Disgusting, weak, and fucking pathetic.
After 3 days of hard work I blow it all by eating 1,000 calories yesterday.
It doesn't matter what I ate now, that's not the point. It matters that I ate 1,000 calories.Anyway, I won't dwell on it because I've decided that to make up for my idiocy, I will eat 0 calories for the next two days followed with visits to the gym as well as home work-outs. Speaking of which, I booked my induction lesson at the woman's gym for wednesday morning... The girl told me all about it, it's a 30 minute hard core circut training where you go on one machine for 30 seconds & work it as hard and fast as you can, then the beep goes and you go onto the next machine for 30 seconds as hard and fast as you can, etc etc... I can't wait. I'm going to ask if each person is only allowed admittance 1 time a day or if you can go as many times as you like, that way (seen as it's only a 2min walk from my flat) I could go every morning then work-out at home and then go again in the evening then work-out at home. Also, there's the other complex gym that does ab-blast & combat classes which I might join.
Time to get fit, I'm serious about it.
Post later xx

weight yesterday: 108
cw: 109

First free day!

Omg! For the first time in months I have a Saturday day off work!
Pity that I'm working in the Bar tonight from 7pm onwards but oh well, it means I can spend all night running around and not have time to eat.
Yesterday I had nothing until 5pm where I ate a small bowl of veg, then at 10pm I had 1 wheetabix square with a bit of yoghurt on top, however it made me feel waaaay too full up and I felt like spewing.
I'm gonna go to Curves today and ask to join..
Shall update more later!

cw: 109lbs

xx

"Thin"

I love that book so much...(Thin by Grace Bowman) It's like someone sat inside my mind and put all my thoughts into a well-paced novel of sense!
The diet pills are still going amazing. I could have easily ate nothing today but I thought it better to at least put some vitamin content into my body (so it doesn't shut down and store all my fat!) so I had a small bowl of veg (green beans, sweetcorn, cauliflower, brocolli). Apart from that I've just been drinking lots of water all day.
Craig's working til 10pm so I've spoken to all my ana girls & visited my usual ana haunts, showered & moisturised... When he gets home we'll probably just watch a DVD, etc.
Not working tomorrow until 7pm so I might make a visit to this local womans-only gym & book an introductary lesson - I know the manager & she gave me a months free pass, how amazing! As soon as I cash my month free voucher I'm gonna go like.. everyday!

cw: 110lbs

xx

SLIMSLIM

OMIGOSH I'm so excited! I went into town and got my week supply of the Silver Slimming pills. I'm kinda angry that I bought them online when I could've easily bought them from a store 5mins away from my flat!
Oh well.
I've taken my first 2 capsules already, I'm nervous but strangely have no impulse to snack or binge or whatever (which I ALWAYS want to do). It may be just a placebo for my mind but I don't care.
Right now I feel like they truly work.
I'm gonna cut down my calories and start going to the gym now.. Roll on Size 00! xoxox

CW: 111lbs

Thin girls, you are beautiful...

"Big girls, you are beautiful" ..ahahaha! I hate that song.
Today I've had a small bowl of special K and skimmed milk, and a cup of coffee.
NO MORE!
I'm waiting on Craig coming out the shower then we're gonna go into town and price a vacation to France for next year.. YAY!
Feeling quite okay today, I'm desperate for my new diet pills to arrive.. went to check on them but they're still in transit. Thankfully the diet pill company replied to my email and told me that I could also buy them in "Sally's beauty" stores - there's one in town! I'm gonna go in when I'm on my own and see if I can buy a week course until my 4 week course arrives.
Eek, he's out the shower.. better go. I'll update later with weight, etc. xx

Psycho Appointment...

So I went to my Psychiatrist appointment. It was awful.
Not only did he laugh at things I said;
"What do you consider a binge?"
"2 Biscuits now a days..."
"HaAHaHaHa!!!"
He made me feel like I was a liar sometimes! I confessed everything, I told him everything and he made me feel as if I was lying for attention or something.
I didn't even want to go to him in the first place. I think that it took me a lot of courage to tell him everything in complete honesty. The last thing ana girls need is someone to laugh at them or smirk at their comments.
At he end he said "So do you have an illness?"I said "No." He replied, "Then why are you even here?".. I was like "Because my boyfriend asked me to come.." and he laughed again.
Moron.
To any ana girls reading this, do yourself a favour.. If you're gonna go into recovery make sure you've got a female psychiatrist!