Wake up.
DIET PILL & WATAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Blink.
DIET PILL & WATAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Gotta love those silverslimmings...
Also backtracked on the PAM forum for interesting posts discussed while i was "recovering"...
Tomorrow when I get paid I'm gonna try Sudafed 24-hour as it apparently is a fabulous appetite supressant.
Plus, who cares if I get addicted.. I'm already a fan of class-A's.
x
Wednesday 30 January 2008
Monday 28 January 2008
Intimidation?
Does anyone else get really fucked off when your friends start to comment on how much another friend has lost weight?
All my pals are gay guys, and I'm the only main female AKA "The alpha female" in the group.
There's also 'inside' jokes about my lack of weight/bulimia/anorexia, etc.. They call me "Thumbulimia" because I'm so small and obv make myself sick when I need to to lose weight.
Anyway, that's fine. That's the jokes. I don't mind them.. it's what we do!
So lately this new girl, Cheryl, has came on the scene and started to hang out with us.. She lives closer to the gays than I do, so she naturally sees them more often/parties with them more often.
I feel soooo intimidated, jealous, and almost scared in a way because the boys have started to comment on nights when they're out partying and how fabulous Cheryl looks and how much weight she's lost!
I'll note that I've met Cheryl and she's absolutely lovely, pretty too. She's probably about a UK 12, but since she's started losing weight she's probably nearer a UK 10. I'm still in a safe zone because I'm a UK 6 but I don't look it.. and I've gained sooo much carb weight.
My body has become addicted to the carbs & I'm finding it so hard to restrict right now... especially the fact that Craig & I have had literally NO food in the house apart from bread because we're so poor! (i get paid on thurs, don't worry.. haha).
Back to the subject... okay, we recreationally take drugs. Yeh yeh 'lecture lecture'... whatever. So Cheryl is on a speed diet which is the reason why she's losing so much weight.. there's no plans of her stopping this diet in the near future. This means that her weight will plummet and she'll become skinny & i'll look like the fat one.
If there was ever a reason to lose weight more than this, please let me know. I can't be the fattest in the pictures.. I can't be the fat girl everyone feels sympathy for.
No.... :(
All my pals are gay guys, and I'm the only main female AKA "The alpha female" in the group.
There's also 'inside' jokes about my lack of weight/bulimia/anorexia, etc.. They call me "Thumbulimia" because I'm so small and obv make myself sick when I need to to lose weight.
Anyway, that's fine. That's the jokes. I don't mind them.. it's what we do!
So lately this new girl, Cheryl, has came on the scene and started to hang out with us.. She lives closer to the gays than I do, so she naturally sees them more often/parties with them more often.
I feel soooo intimidated, jealous, and almost scared in a way because the boys have started to comment on nights when they're out partying and how fabulous Cheryl looks and how much weight she's lost!
I'll note that I've met Cheryl and she's absolutely lovely, pretty too. She's probably about a UK 12, but since she's started losing weight she's probably nearer a UK 10. I'm still in a safe zone because I'm a UK 6 but I don't look it.. and I've gained sooo much carb weight.
My body has become addicted to the carbs & I'm finding it so hard to restrict right now... especially the fact that Craig & I have had literally NO food in the house apart from bread because we're so poor! (i get paid on thurs, don't worry.. haha).
Back to the subject... okay, we recreationally take drugs. Yeh yeh 'lecture lecture'... whatever. So Cheryl is on a speed diet which is the reason why she's losing so much weight.. there's no plans of her stopping this diet in the near future. This means that her weight will plummet and she'll become skinny & i'll look like the fat one.
If there was ever a reason to lose weight more than this, please let me know. I can't be the fattest in the pictures.. I can't be the fat girl everyone feels sympathy for.
No.... :(
Sunday 27 January 2008
Almost Lost..
Right..
I thought it was time I wrote a small post to let everyone know that I haven't disappeared again, but I haven't been doing well.
My scales have been taken away from me for a while now, so I have no idea what I weigh and I've been going out of my mind!
I've deffo gained weight, but I don't know how much..
Blah, it's so shit.
I'll be back soon. x
I thought it was time I wrote a small post to let everyone know that I haven't disappeared again, but I haven't been doing well.
My scales have been taken away from me for a while now, so I have no idea what I weigh and I've been going out of my mind!
I've deffo gained weight, but I don't know how much..
Blah, it's so shit.
I'll be back soon. x
Wednesday 9 January 2008
Hard weather
Gawd.. I can't stop sneezing and my head feels blocked. I had a great lie in, though... don't start work til 2pm today.
Yesterday the funeral was okay... Actually, the service was lovely. There were tears, but there were also laughs. Iain's Wake was in the Hilton Hotel in the West End of Glasgow and it was probably one of the best Wakes that I've been to.
After that, I had to begin my long journey home as the trains were being cancelled left right and centre. I managed to only have to change over trains once but as soon as I got off the train in my home town there was hail, rain, and wind like a hurricaine - Horrible! Needless to say that's why I'm sneezing.
Blah.
I'm starting a new little project; crocheting a blanket, for many reasons:
1. It will keep me occupied and hypnotised in times where I'm most prone to bingeing.
2. It's a blanket and will keep me warm!
3. It'll look pretty.
*Before I go, I'm noting that on the right hand side info panel I've began to update my weight more... I'm also going to put in a section to have my BMI on show because, as we all know, weight means nothing unless you take your height into account. (NB: I'm 5'5")
cw: unknown yet
Yesterday the funeral was okay... Actually, the service was lovely. There were tears, but there were also laughs. Iain's Wake was in the Hilton Hotel in the West End of Glasgow and it was probably one of the best Wakes that I've been to.
After that, I had to begin my long journey home as the trains were being cancelled left right and centre. I managed to only have to change over trains once but as soon as I got off the train in my home town there was hail, rain, and wind like a hurricaine - Horrible! Needless to say that's why I'm sneezing.
Blah.
I'm starting a new little project; crocheting a blanket, for many reasons:
1. It will keep me occupied and hypnotised in times where I'm most prone to bingeing.
2. It's a blanket and will keep me warm!
3. It'll look pretty.
*Before I go, I'm noting that on the right hand side info panel I've began to update my weight more... I'm also going to put in a section to have my BMI on show because, as we all know, weight means nothing unless you take your height into account. (NB: I'm 5'5")
cw: unknown yet
Monday 7 January 2008
Eating Plan...
Before I begin, the following eating plan has been made solely for myself. I take no responsibility for any one who decides to follow it and any consequences that may result from it.
I have not included water in this eating plan as it has 0 calories and I drink it regularly throughout the day.. anyone who follows this plan should make sure they drink lots of water!
Exercising is an option too...
I also take 2 vitamin C, and 2 multivitamin + iron tablets every morning.
Feel free to move eating times to times more acceptable to your life, my eating times vary each day however you should always make sure you keep to the general eating times of breakfast, lunch, and dinner... that way the immediate people in your life can see you eat!
Sunday
10.30am: 100ml orange juice (41 cals), half of a typical 100g banana (47 cals)
3.30pm: 3 slices of (tesco eat light) melba toast (39 cals) and half a can of drained tuna (65 cals
6.00pm: One can of weight watchers soup (86 cals)
Allowances: 2 x coffee with 0 calorie sweeteners and 50ml skimmed milk (approx 25 cals per coffee)
Snack: One kiwi (49 cals)
TOTAL EXCLUDING ALLOWANCES AND SNACKS: 278cals
Monday
10.30am: 100ml orange juice (41 cals), one kiwi fruit (49cals)
3.30pm: 3 slices of (tesco eat light) melba toast (39 cals), 100g small silverskin pickled onions (10 cals) and half a can of drained tuna (65 cals)
6.00pm: one slim a soup (diet cuppa soup sachet packets, 56 cals)
Allowances: 2 x coffee with 0 calorie sweeteners and 50ml skimmed milk
Snack: One low calorie yoghurt (between 50-70 cals)
TOTAL EXCLUDING ALLOWANCES AND SNACKS: 278cals
Tuesday
9.30am: 100ml apple juice (47 cals), one kiwi (49 cals)
1.00pm: One small apple (61 cals)
6.00pm: One Slim a soup (58 cals)
Allowances: 2 x coffee with 0 calorie sweeteners and 50ml skimmed milk
Snack: One low calorie yoghurt (between 50-70 cals)
TOTAL EXCLUDING ALLOWANCES AND SNACKS: 215cals
Wednesday
10.30am: One coffee (25 cals)
12.30pm: One small orange (57 cals)
6.00pm: One can of weight watchers soup (86 cals)
Allowances: 2 x coffee with 0 calorie sweeteners and 50ml skimmed milk
Snack: One low calorie yoghurt (between 50-70 cals)
TOTAL EXCLUDING ALLOWANCES AND SNACKS: 168cals
Thursday
10.30am: 100ml Orange juice (41 cals)
12.30pm: One kiwi (49 cals)
6.30pm: 55g Cous Cous (81 cals)
Allowances: 2 x coffee with 0 calorie sweeteners and 50ml skimmed milk
Snack: Banana (95 cals)
TOTAL EXCLUDING ALLOWANCES AND SNACKS: 171cals
Friday
10.30am: Half a banana (47 cals)
12.30pm: 3 Slices of Melba toast (39 cals) and half can of tuna (65 cals)
6.30pm: Slim a soup (58 cals)
Allowances: 2 x coffee with 0 calorie sweeteners and 50ml skimmed milk
Snack: Low fat yoghurt (between 50-70 cals)
TOTAL EXCLUDING ALLOWANCES AND SNACKS: 209cals
Saturday
11am: 100ml Orange juice (41 cals), One kiwi (47 cals)
3.30pm: Slim a soup (58 cals)
6.30pm: 55g Cous Cous (81 cals)
Allowances: 2 x coffee with 0 calorie sweeteners and 50ml skimmed milk
Snack: Banana (95 cals)
TOTAL EXCLUDING ALLOWANCES AND SNACKS: 227cals
Remember.. Calories may vary (not by much tho).. always check the labels!
I have not included water in this eating plan as it has 0 calories and I drink it regularly throughout the day.. anyone who follows this plan should make sure they drink lots of water!
Exercising is an option too...
I also take 2 vitamin C, and 2 multivitamin + iron tablets every morning.
Feel free to move eating times to times more acceptable to your life, my eating times vary each day however you should always make sure you keep to the general eating times of breakfast, lunch, and dinner... that way the immediate people in your life can see you eat!
Sunday
10.30am: 100ml orange juice (41 cals), half of a typical 100g banana (47 cals)
3.30pm: 3 slices of (tesco eat light) melba toast (39 cals) and half a can of drained tuna (65 cals
6.00pm: One can of weight watchers soup (86 cals)
Allowances: 2 x coffee with 0 calorie sweeteners and 50ml skimmed milk (approx 25 cals per coffee)
Snack: One kiwi (49 cals)
TOTAL EXCLUDING ALLOWANCES AND SNACKS: 278cals
Monday
10.30am: 100ml orange juice (41 cals), one kiwi fruit (49cals)
3.30pm: 3 slices of (tesco eat light) melba toast (39 cals), 100g small silverskin pickled onions (10 cals) and half a can of drained tuna (65 cals)
6.00pm: one slim a soup (diet cuppa soup sachet packets, 56 cals)
Allowances: 2 x coffee with 0 calorie sweeteners and 50ml skimmed milk
Snack: One low calorie yoghurt (between 50-70 cals)
TOTAL EXCLUDING ALLOWANCES AND SNACKS: 278cals
Tuesday
9.30am: 100ml apple juice (47 cals), one kiwi (49 cals)
1.00pm: One small apple (61 cals)
6.00pm: One Slim a soup (58 cals)
Allowances: 2 x coffee with 0 calorie sweeteners and 50ml skimmed milk
Snack: One low calorie yoghurt (between 50-70 cals)
TOTAL EXCLUDING ALLOWANCES AND SNACKS: 215cals
Wednesday
10.30am: One coffee (25 cals)
12.30pm: One small orange (57 cals)
6.00pm: One can of weight watchers soup (86 cals)
Allowances: 2 x coffee with 0 calorie sweeteners and 50ml skimmed milk
Snack: One low calorie yoghurt (between 50-70 cals)
TOTAL EXCLUDING ALLOWANCES AND SNACKS: 168cals
Thursday
10.30am: 100ml Orange juice (41 cals)
12.30pm: One kiwi (49 cals)
6.30pm: 55g Cous Cous (81 cals)
Allowances: 2 x coffee with 0 calorie sweeteners and 50ml skimmed milk
Snack: Banana (95 cals)
TOTAL EXCLUDING ALLOWANCES AND SNACKS: 171cals
Friday
10.30am: Half a banana (47 cals)
12.30pm: 3 Slices of Melba toast (39 cals) and half can of tuna (65 cals)
6.30pm: Slim a soup (58 cals)
Allowances: 2 x coffee with 0 calorie sweeteners and 50ml skimmed milk
Snack: Low fat yoghurt (between 50-70 cals)
TOTAL EXCLUDING ALLOWANCES AND SNACKS: 209cals
Saturday
11am: 100ml Orange juice (41 cals), One kiwi (47 cals)
3.30pm: Slim a soup (58 cals)
6.30pm: 55g Cous Cous (81 cals)
Allowances: 2 x coffee with 0 calorie sweeteners and 50ml skimmed milk
Snack: Banana (95 cals)
TOTAL EXCLUDING ALLOWANCES AND SNACKS: 227cals
Remember.. Calories may vary (not by much tho).. always check the labels!
Hm.
Well I reached my 111lbs goal, so I'm happy about that. What I'm not so happy about is my friends funeral tomorrow.. I can't believe he's gone. And in the most random, unpredictable way (he fell over his flat balcony and was found in the courtyard in the morning).. How can that happen? Things like that don't happen to your friends.. they just don't.
Anyway, I'm getting too upset; I don't have the energy for it.
Back to weight talk..
I wrote myself an eating plan for this week, I have it stuck to my fridge.. I even showed Craig it and he's fine with it which, needless to say, is surprising because each day totals me to be eating under 300 calories, some days even under 150 calories.
I told him the dietician said that my main concern is eating at proper times during the day and THEN concentraing on increasing the amount i eat.
He believed it.
For all those girls who are restricting under 300 calories per day and just doing it in their heads I recommend writing an eating plan; if you stick to it ridgedly (and i mean like the bible! NB: i'm not religious) then the risk of bingeing is zero-to-none and you don't feel hungry because you're eating 3 times a day!
I'll post my eating plan up here for everyone who might like to give it a try... Pls email me if you have any feedback or suggestions to vary the foods!
xx
Anyway, I'm getting too upset; I don't have the energy for it.
Back to weight talk..
I wrote myself an eating plan for this week, I have it stuck to my fridge.. I even showed Craig it and he's fine with it which, needless to say, is surprising because each day totals me to be eating under 300 calories, some days even under 150 calories.
I told him the dietician said that my main concern is eating at proper times during the day and THEN concentraing on increasing the amount i eat.
He believed it.
For all those girls who are restricting under 300 calories per day and just doing it in their heads I recommend writing an eating plan; if you stick to it ridgedly (and i mean like the bible! NB: i'm not religious) then the risk of bingeing is zero-to-none and you don't feel hungry because you're eating 3 times a day!
I'll post my eating plan up here for everyone who might like to give it a try... Pls email me if you have any feedback or suggestions to vary the foods!
xx
Thursday 3 January 2008
Balloon
FUCK.. In the strongest emphasis.
To say the least, over Christmas the shit hit the fan.
I was doing great leading up to the dietician appointment.. she talked for hours about how bad ana was for me, etc etc.. blah blah.
It just made me more inclined to reach 100lbs or less for our next meeting.
Then my friend... my very dear friend, Iain, died.
I've ate.. and ate... and I weighed myself this morning; I'm 114lbs.
F. U. C. K.
I'm gonna be 111lbs by Monday.
Just watch...
To say the least, over Christmas the shit hit the fan.
I was doing great leading up to the dietician appointment.. she talked for hours about how bad ana was for me, etc etc.. blah blah.
It just made me more inclined to reach 100lbs or less for our next meeting.
Then my friend... my very dear friend, Iain, died.
I've ate.. and ate... and I weighed myself this morning; I'm 114lbs.
F. U. C. K.
I'm gonna be 111lbs by Monday.
Just watch...
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