Just a quickie!

Just thought I'd type a quick wee post while Craig's DJ'ing in his Music Studio and I'm alone with the laptop!

Today I've been feeling so strong about restricting. I had a bit of toast this morning, only cos Craig made me it.. then for dinner I had a 50cal weight watchers yoghurt, and while Craig was in his studio I made soup, put it in a bowl, and poured it down the sink, leaving the bowl and pot unwashed so he thinks I ate.. I also threw out a couple of pieces of bread for extra effect too!

I hope I lose at least 1lb by tomorrow!

x

A new start.. again

Thankfully I've overcome my binge cycle. I hate those!
But unfortunately I gained sooo much weight. I ballooned up to 117lbs, which is the highest I've been in ages! I cried so much, but strangely it had an effect on me that made me so determined not to stop until I get to my UGW this time.

I joined a few girls on PAM to swear that I'll lose as much weight as possible by April 4th! I'm aiming for 100lbs, but I don't know how successful I'll be...

I'll keep up to date!

ps. lost 2.6lbs since yesterday so I'm now 115.2lbs
x

dfjdfhdfkhg

Doing shit.
Can't stop bingeing.
That's all.

Annoyed!

I had nothing but an apple yesterday, then made the stupid mistake of agreeing to go to a coffee house/restaurant place with Craig after I finished work.
I had one coffee, and stayed strong (i.e didn't eat anything) even though he had dinner there! But it did highlight to him the fact that I hadn't ate.. He made me eat dinner, then sit in the living room and watch a movie with him after so I couldn't purge.
I'm so irritated. I bet I'm up at 112lbs now.. And worst of all, tonight is my best friend's 22nd birthday & we're going to a Tapas restaurant.. a meal I most certainly can't get out of!

I'm off to the gym now to work my ass for for 2 hours.

xox

On my way!

So the night after my previous post (Actually it might have been the night of) I weighed myself in a 118lbs.. Can you fucking believe it?!?!?!!!
Okay, so I was on my period and I understand that some was period weight; but 118lbs?!?!?!!!! I went in a shower and cried for about 2 hours; looked like a Prune when I got out! haha.

After that, it surely kicked my uber fat ass into shape. I've been restricting to under 300cals per day, sometimes under 200cals. I went to the gym for an hour & a half yesterday, and two hours today.
Being back at Uni also helps because I'm constantly on the go & never take money with me to buy food.
Back to my point; after my blubber-kick I'm back down to 111lbs in just 5 days, so most of it was probably period weight. Never the less, I've started to mentally hypnotise myself into thinking that anything above 100lbs is morbidly obese rather than my previous 'slacker' way of thinking;
"100lbs is a beautiful weight. I'd love to get there soon.."

I'll report back soon on my progress...

Ps. Hurray to Paper Bag & her crocheting! :)


xox

Placebo

Fuckety fuck fuck.. How come when you're doing good on restricting, the "ill/can't breathe" placebo takes over your mind and convinces you to eat something or you'll die? Like I'd really die from skipping one meal. I'm such a fucking idiot.

Yesterday was going great; I had some raspberries & a banana for breakfast, diet pills and water all day... then at dinner time in the house I ate two small bread rolls but then purged them back up. I went to bed early cause I was feeling so tired but couldn't sleep cause I felt like I couldn't breathe properly. After lying there for an hour I got worried then got up and ended up eating 2 slices of bread with banana, and a slice of toast.

I don't even deserve to lose weight...